Ma femme, elle dit, "NON!" ...

Shortly we will be visiting northern France.
I want to buy a bombarde.
"What's a bombarde?" I hear you ask.

Watch and listen...



From wikipedia: "The bombard, or bombarde (in Breton) is a conical bore double-reed musical instrument from Brittany. The bombarde is blown by the mouth; the reed is held between the lips. Typically pitched in B flat, it plays a diatonic scale over two octaves."

Fortunately the sporting of bleached hair and wearing of a skirt are not prerequisites!
In spite of that, my wife continues with her objections.

Product review ...

A few weeks ago my wife insisted on purchasing a wild bird feeding station. It looked something like this...



Initially the parts didn't fit together properly but after three return visits to the garden centre, we managed to plant it.



After one week it had germinated and looked thus ...



Notice the miraculous appearance of coconut shells and various devices for holding seed and peanuts.

Notice also - no birds!

I suggested taking the thing back for a refund since it clearly didn't work.








After a further week we witnessed this ...

This solitary bird didn't know how to use the device. I tried to show it, but it flew away.

Once again I urged my wife to return the product to the retailer as it seemed unfit for purpose.






YESTERDAY ...

Avian war broke out!


I will take this thing back myself.






I don't just want a refund;
I demand compensation for disturbance of my peace !

I think I woke up this morning ...

... and I have vague recollection of hearing this on Radio ... (can't recall)!



My day was enlightened.
Then I think I shed tears!
For whom? - I forget.

Never mind - cogito ergo sum!

Should I increase my medication, Doctor?

Midsummer Eve ...

Well, here we are at the end of Imbolc (Celtic for 'lactation of the ewes'). Tomorrow's sunrise marks the Celtic festival of Beltain, the first day of summer. This will be a season of partnerships and fertility. New couples will proclaim their love for each other. 'Writings from the puritanical elements during the English civil war show the festival was alive and well in the 17th century. We have quotes such as- "Couples would go into the woods at night and ne'er a third returned undefiled!"'

Ref: http://www.gallica.co.uk/celts/calendar.htm

There were no such activities for me and my friends that evening. There was much benign derision, but no one was defiled. However, here's Fiddlin' Bill performing Cripple Creek, while admirably ignoring bum notes from the out-of-sight concertina player.

Astute viewers will notice the vertically-challenged lighting engineer struggling unsuccessfully for attention!

Now let's all set off for that henge-thingy ...

A Gracious Woman ...

I have a friend who has a charming and delightful wife. In some recent correspondence I urged him to 'value her'.

This is how my friend responded:

I've had [my wife] valued. Despite being an older property of considerable character with a pleasant facade and a satisfying interior, the high maintenance required affects the value rather badly. Or in my case, baldly. For myself, a striking, if unusual, frontage is affected by some seepage at times and a tendency to cracks and dry rot. Roof needs attention to avoid damage by sun, wind and rain. There are some marks left by previous repairs, and everything creaks. All in all, a newbuild would be a better choice, but they are in high demand, and the owners prefer first-time buyers.

Remember, my friend ...

Who lives in a house like this?

The clues are here...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/mps-expenses/5360873/MPs-expenses-Furious-David-Cameron-orders-Tory-grandee-to-quit-over-duck-island.html

I/you/we paid for this floating abode.
Shall we all become ducks take up residence?

Alternatively, the magnanimous thing that Sir Peter could do is to be persuaded to make it available the homeless PEOPLE of his constituency. Unfortunately, they'll all have to have webbed-feet, brilliant plumage and be less than 5 feet tall. Having no fixed address, many such people are disenfranchised, of course.

How much more nonsense are we to tolerate before we re-establish the authority of our monarch?!
Come on, Queen, dissolve the lot. Constitutionally, and historically, you have that power.
I wish you longevity because I might change my view after you've gone!

Can I clean your moat, Ma-am?!

Gabriel's Oboe ...

I just found this on youtube.
I had to post it.



It is one of the most beautiful melodies I have ever heard. Ennio Morriconi composed the soundtrack for the film The Mission. The melody doesn't need words, but this is both charming and triumphant.

I love it!