Pearls of wisdom heard at a local Folk Club

Oh dear, I have given myself away; one of my pastimes is to sing folk songs!

Aaarrgh!

At the club I attend the MC regularly documents the musical offerings we hear. See http://cityfolkclub.blogspot.com/.

I would like to chronicle some of the amusing banter between performances. As an afterthought I will include anecdotes/enigmata (new word) from other venues. I will update this posting as-and-when.

Friday, 12th September 2008:
The notice in the Gent's toilet saying "Wet Paint" is NOT an instruction! ... Bill 1.2


Friday, 19th September 2008:
I have a good friend who would prefer to remain anonymous. He is follicularly challenged about his scalp but he proudly sports a luxuriant beard. He recently returned from a holiday in Istanbul. His wife reports that a native was heard to say in perfect English:
"Your head is upside-down, Sir. May I take a photograph?" ... MH

Here's the result:




Tuesday, 23rd September 2008:
I don't hold with these new-fangled compact risks. The one I bought yesterday ruined the stylus of my gramophone! ... Terry Wogan

(Oh, no! Not just a Guardian reader. He listens to Radio 2!)

Friday, 3rd October 2008:
"I can't count up to twenty-one without removing my trousers!" ... DC

Sunday, 5th October 2008:
Heard on BBC1's programme The Story of the Guitar, relating to Shakespearian times when gentlemen awaiting their turn at the barber's were invited to play upon a musical instrument conveniently hanging on the wall:

"She is but a guitern*. Any man may play upon her!"
(* ?spelling)