Regarding Original Sin ...

Tracey was on the phone again today.
You’ll remember: I like Tracey.

We exchanged the customary telephonic pleasantries, without the necessity to remember my mother's maiden name or several characters from an obscure password, before she came to the point:

“Have you had an accident that wasn’t your fault?” she enquired.

I thought of several such incidents and decided to err on the side of caution.
“Yes, many!” I replied.

At this, Tracey's enquiries went up a gear. Incisively she continued: “Would you like to tell me about the first one?”

“Well, I have no clear recollection of it, but I was born.”

Tracey asked, "Are you sure it was an accident?"
"Well," said I, "I can't imagine that anyone would want to conceive me on purpose!"
“So how did you suffer as a result of this accident?”
“I suffered it well; I’ve had a lifetime of practice,” said I.

“Now, come on.” said Tracey, “Be more specific, please.”
“Well,” I responded, “How would you like to have the middle name of ‘Stanley’?”

“So is your first name ‘Accrington’?” asked Tracey.
(If only, I pondered: that would have been magnificent. I could have sported a coat of arms!)

Then Tracey asked me when this accident occurred.
I rapidly added nine months of gestation to my age and gave her an approximate date.

“Oh, that long ago!” she exclaimed.
“Who do you think was to blame for this accident?” she asked.

I paused to consider this philosophical question.
“Ultimately, Adam and Eve,” I replied.
“Oh, yes,” said Tracey, “and where are they now?”
“Somewhere in Paradise with fig-leaves, an apple tree and a snake,” was my reply.
 “ …Oh, you could try an old china-clay pit near St. Austell in Cornwall.”

Eventually Tracey announced that acts of God were beyond the scope of litigation.

Fine, but it was lovely talking to her.

Is Faith Worth It?

So, the Pope is to visit our country.

We will welcome this ‘outreach’ from the head of the ‘true faith’, won’t we?

What is he coming for?

• To admonish the wayward of these islands?
• To forgive us? 
• To apologise for the historical and on-going travesties of the Church of Rome?

We are told that the Pope's visit will cost the UK tax-payer £12,000,000 in respect of security and police protection.

If I want to visit Rome, I will pay my air fare. I will take out holiday insurance. I will pay for my accommodation. Bearing in mind my EU citizenship, I assume that the laws of that visited land are adequate to protect me at no additional personal cost.

Let the Pope bring his own Rottweilers at his expense!

Truth ...

In a recent conversation with a friend, we discussed the correct placing of punctuation within parentheses. My friend, a follower of Ms. Truss, wrote, "I am merely a seeker of truth."
I believe that his soul may be in danger.



I wrote as follows:

Surely, you've been on this Earth long enough to realise that 'truth' is ephemeral.

First we had God. He was followed, after a 14,000,000,000 year-long gestation, by Jesus. He said, " ... I am the truth ..."

Many mortals came after.
Bishop Ussher declared that the world was created on 23rd. October, 4004 BC, (by the Julian calendar).
Darwin caused uproar.
Thomas Malthus said we should be extinct by now.
Richard Dawkins confounded everyone with 'intelligent design', while Noel Edmonds engaged in 'cosmic ordering'. (He needs it.)
NOW even the Pope confesses to fallibility! (We all knew that, anyway.)

The only absolute truth, according to nobody else but me, (in whom I have complete faith), is as follows:

If you wish to parenthesise a complete sentence, perhaps as an afterthought, the final full-stop belongs before the closing bracket.
See below:

(Otherwise, truth is nothing but myth, legend and superstition.)
It would silly like this: (Otherwise, truth is nothing but myth, legend and superstition).