Shipping Forecast

"The sky's took a turn since this morning. I think it'll brighten up yet ...," wrote Marriott Edgar (1880-1951).



Hey, why is this ship going backwards?

Caveat Emptor

19th. September 2008

I understand today that the Bush administration is about to contribute vast sums of US tax-payers’ money to some large financial institutions in an attempt to avoid domestic economic melt-down, largely attributed to their struggling real-estate market. Recently the UK government colluded in a similar exercise (similarly motivated?) to save Northern Rock. It is rumoured that our treasury is considering following these precedents.

As I read the news, I discern that financial institutions seem to have nothing to sell but bad debts. Would you buy one? Should they be on Ebay?

The market is supposed to be self-regulating. Adam Smith must be turning in his grave!

JMK might have something to say too:

What more evidence do I need to demonstrate that governments/politicians (I generalise) are motivated by self-interest, money, and are in the pockets of big business establishments?

Consider this: if I purchase a dodgy domestic appliance from a retailer, I may have some protection under trading standards legislation. There may be a manufacturer’s warranty. Understandably, there is a time limit on such guarantees. Beyond those limits, when my dodgy washing machine breaks down, I have no redress. It is my responsibility to finance its repair/replacement/disposal. Hopefully, I will not have bought a dodgy washing machine in the first instance, but if I have, do I expect the government to bail me out?

The debts being traded by the financial institutions have little assurance of being repaid. Mortgage terms are measured in decades. Security is nothing more than the negotiable equity in some one's property. These financiers do this knowing the risks of long term and historically catastrophic variations in the market over which they have little direct control. So, as they fail, they now receive a reassuring message that governments will throw tax-payers’ revenue at them!

Maybe I misunderstand this stinky-poo situation and I acknowledge my good fortune in having minimal immediate personal exposure to banking institutions. But, I pay tax!

There are certain things governments must do: look after the political and material infrastructure of the nation, oversee education, health-care provision, law and order. These things they do, unless you live in Zimbabwe, with some degree of debatable competence.

There are other things that governments historically have not done well at the tax-payers expense:

like wage wars

and RUN BANKS!

..............................................................................................

There, I’ve got that off my chest. For a change I’m being serious. Perhaps I’ll copy this post in a letter to the Guardian.

OH, God, is St. Anley a Guardian reader?!

Reynardine

Eureka!

I have been baffled about the inability to publish audio on blogs. This guy's solved my problem.

• You set up your videocam focused on the record sleeve. If you haven't got that, a totally unrelated subject will suffice. In this case, any passing fox will do!
• Press record on the videocam.
• Quickly, in the immediate vicinity, you play the track on whatever external audio device you are using. (Disinterested fox wanders off at this point; don't follow it!)
• After recording you pursue the usual time-consuming process of downloading from the videocam, edit as you think fit, upload to youtube.
• While all this is happening, take the opportunity to track down the fox and rescue fair maiden from his brightly-shining dentures.
• By the following morning you may have a recording you can embed into your blog.

• If that works, and you're really fortunate, you might find said fair maiden beside you as you wake!
• Relish in the sublime expressions of gratitude demonstrated by fair maiden.

Bear in mind that the above-described activity is probably totally illegal. Whatever you do, do NOT take your dog with you as you track the fox!

It might be wise to disable public viewing on youtube.

Did you like that? It's Sandy Denny again.

Fotheringay

At last! I've been trying to discern the lyrics of this song for years.

Here's my lovely wife ... undressed ...

She declined to pose. I guess this will have to suffice!

The real St. Anley

Here's a stained-glass image of St. Stanislav, the patron saint of Poland; what a fine figure of a man.

Bishop Stanislav was put to death by King Boleslav 'the bold' in 1079. He was canonised in 1253. His shrine is at Skalka, Krakow's oldest shrine. His blood stains are still visible on the wall.


No mention of light bulbs, but note the following:


"Since the 1880s some Polish most illustrious luminaries were posthumously awarded with ceremonial burial in its crypt that is open to the public." [sic] http://www.krakow-info.com/skalka.htm






What more justification do I need for my earlier fiction?

Pearls of wisdom heard at a local Folk Club

Oh dear, I have given myself away; one of my pastimes is to sing folk songs!

Aaarrgh!

At the club I attend the MC regularly documents the musical offerings we hear. See http://cityfolkclub.blogspot.com/.

I would like to chronicle some of the amusing banter between performances. As an afterthought I will include anecdotes/enigmata (new word) from other venues. I will update this posting as-and-when.

Friday, 12th September 2008:
The notice in the Gent's toilet saying "Wet Paint" is NOT an instruction! ... Bill 1.2


Friday, 19th September 2008:
I have a good friend who would prefer to remain anonymous. He is follicularly challenged about his scalp but he proudly sports a luxuriant beard. He recently returned from a holiday in Istanbul. His wife reports that a native was heard to say in perfect English:
"Your head is upside-down, Sir. May I take a photograph?" ... MH

Here's the result:




Tuesday, 23rd September 2008:
I don't hold with these new-fangled compact risks. The one I bought yesterday ruined the stylus of my gramophone! ... Terry Wogan

(Oh, no! Not just a Guardian reader. He listens to Radio 2!)

Friday, 3rd October 2008:
"I can't count up to twenty-one without removing my trousers!" ... DC

Sunday, 5th October 2008:
Heard on BBC1's programme The Story of the Guitar, relating to Shakespearian times when gentlemen awaiting their turn at the barber's were invited to play upon a musical instrument conveniently hanging on the wall:

"She is but a guitern*. Any man may play upon her!"
(* ?spelling)