Monday, 23 May 2011

Iceland rules the world

I worked with an Icelandic lady once.
I liked her.


She didn't look like this, but one can dream.
Cissa was her name.
Cissa was a BIG girl.
Her command of English was elementary, although she was particularly good at fly-fishing.
"I preefer too speek viv zee tung," she said.
"Oh, GLORY!" said I.
Of course, she never tickled my trout, but she frightened the pants off me
... and that was a long time ago.

Now I can breathe again ...

Seriously, now ...

I am not impressed by Iceland.


  • First, it rises from the sea, without global permission, in mid-Atlantis.
  • A spontaneously generated people hunts Wales - I mean whales.
  • Indigenes invent a language that is unintelligible to everyone else. That's a bit like Welsh!
  • They steal our fish.
  • They eat whales!
  • We have a war. That's the 'Cod War'. Such description is hardly likely to be retained in the memories of those who take twentieth-century history more seriously.

  • Iceland invites foreign investment.
  • They misuse such investment and go bankrupt.
Here's your worthless change ...


  • They accept loans upon which Iceland arrogantly defaults - both capital and interest.
  • Then, in 2010, Iceland explodes, whereby air transport within the northern hemisphere is disrupted for several weeks.
  • Having failed to bring about the end of the world on 21st May 2011, as predicted by a North American evangelist, Iceland sets off another bonfire.
  • The Icelandic Geological Association denies all responsibility.


Now, about my planned air journey next Saturday?
  • And Cissa is no longer in my life.

(Weeps!)

      Wednesday, 18 May 2011

      What is the function of that barrel-shaped thing at the extreme on of the stick?

      I am working on composing a quiz right now.
      It will have a maritime theme.
      I searched Google images for the word 'bowsprit'.
      Here's one result:


      Any tasteful suggestions for a corresponding question and answer will be most welcome.

      Sunday, 8 May 2011

      My Wife's a Celebrity

      Today Jane completed a 50Km bicycle ride in aid of Action Medical Research.


      Here she is being dispatched by Davina McCall.
      That's Ruth, Jane's daughter, on the right.

      Here's Jane leading the pack:


      Later she was pictured on Meridian Tonight on ITV1.
      Will celebrity go to her head?

      Some of our friends now owe Jane lots of money!

      The bicycles were cleaned, serviced and lubricated by St. Anley Two-Wheel Maintenance.co.uk, which establishment donated time and materials free of charge.