About a Brain Scan, or Stairway to Heaven ...

Mother-in-Law is an elderly lady who consults a psychiatrist.
"What are you here for?" asks the psychiatrist.
She looks blankly at her son-in-law.
"Because you can't remember anything," is St. Anley's response.

Psychiatrist reviews notes at some considerable length.
"Oh, yes," says he. "We'll arrange a brain scan."

Appointment for said investigation arrives several weeks later. St Anley dutifully accompanies M-in-Law to the hospital.

“What will they do to me?"
"Will it make me better?” she asks.

St. Anley hesitates momentarily, (wondering how best not to answer the second question,) before offering the following confabulation.

“Well, first they’ll ask you to lie down on a trolley and keep very still.”
“Then you will be conveyed through a very dark tunnel.”


“Ooh, that’s scary!” exclaims M-in-Law.

“Be not afraid!” commands St. Anley adopting a tone of ecclesiastical authority.
“At the end of the tunnel you will eventually see a very bright light.”

“What sort of light?” she asks.

“Oh, that will be the light of Jesus, welcoming you to His heavenly kingdom.”
(I wish!)

The radiographer calls her into his chamber.
St. Anley hums gently the melody, Stairway to Heaven.

Not many minutes later the patient is wheeled back into the waiting area.
“Oh, you’re here in heaven too!” she declares in some surprise.

"Did you see Jesus?" asks St. Anley.
"No, I had my eyes closed."
"That's why He sent you back!"
She concludes, "Well, that was a waste of time then; I don't feel any better, like you said I would."

"Oh, no I didn't!"

Disclaimer:

Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, described in this account is utterly intentional!